We've all heard it before: that most women cannot orgasm from penetration. I used to believe it. I used to think that 90% of the time I could only orgasm from clitoral stimulation from oral or a vibrator. I was convinced that the handful of times I orgasmed during penetration were not "real" orgasms because they didn't make me feel the same way my go-to orgasms felt.
There are a lot of problems with thinking in this way. If you think that you can ONLY orgasm from clitoral stimulation, then chances are; that's the only type of orgasm you'll experience. Saying this also perpetuates that idea that women are not supposed to experience pleasure from penetration so it's okay for us to have penetrative sex without enjoying it. Big NO. This can lead to women not listening to their bodies, saying yes to someone when their pussy is saying "No, I'm not ready."
Another issue is that misogynistic psychologist, Freud, said that a vaginal orgasm is the "more evolved" kind of orgasm and the clitoral orgasm is "immature". Women are bombarded with multiple unhealthy views of female orgasms and even in magazines like Cosmo (that's supposed to help women feel sexually liberated) we are greeted with language like "how to achieve an orgasm". Orgasms and sexual pleasure are not things we "achieve", they're our birth right. Orgasms and pleasure are encoded in our DNA. Every single cell in our body knows the magick of female pleasure. But our bodies also live in a patriarchal world. They're criticized over and over again, objectified by men and women, looked at under a microscope on social media, and they hold any and all trauma we've experienced throughout our lives.
This is where somatic practices come in. THIS is where yoni de-armoring comes in.
Yoni De-Armoring Releases Blocks, Stagnant Energy, and Stuck Emotions Held in the Fascia of Your Yoni
We have a tendency to hold on to trauma and unreleased emotions in our hips and entire pelvis area. This is especially true if you've experienced any sort of sexual or womb trauma. And trauma to your womb and pussy doesn't have to mean big T Trauma like sexual assault, abortion, miscarriage, or a disease. It also includes times you've had sex when you're yoni wasn't truly ready for penetration. It can include spending years dishonoring your menstrual cycle. It might include being on hormonal birth control. It may even be that your pussy and womb are holding on to energy from a happy previous event (like birth or sex with a past partner) and you're just ready to release it.
Your Yoni and Womb are the Creative Power Centers of Your Body
In yoga we think of this space as the Sacral Chakra, or Swadisthana. It's the seat of pleasure, of receptivity, of creative inspiration, of creative power. This womb space is where spirit (an idea) turns to matter (manifests into the physical). The yoni is the portal through which this is birthed. In a physical sense this is the creation and birth of a baby, but it's also the creation and birth of an idea, of a business, and even of an evolvement of oneself. Yoni de-armoring can release energetic and physical blocks in the Sacral Chakra space and impact our entire creative expression in the world.
This practice can be especially helpful for releasing sexual trauma, but it's also related to the well being of your entire physical and emotional body. When tension is stored in the hips, sacrum, and vagina it can impact how you express yourself, show up in the world, experience pleasure, and create your reality.
Your Pussy is MULTI-ORGASMIC
We've just kind of forgotten, numbed out from centuries of repressing the wild feminine. She's here now. She exists in each breath we take. ALL of us have the ability to reawaken and revive every inch of our yonis. ALL of us deserve to experience the cascades of orgasmic bliss coming from every cell of our pussies, every cell of our bodies.
Experiencing multiple orgasms isn't an anomaly or something only a lucky handful of women experience. It is literally your birth right. But when we live in a society that is so disconnected from healthy sexuality and pleasure it's not something we hear all the time. When we have main stream media making fun of songs like W.A.P. (Wet Ass Pussy) it further perpetuates the idea that female sexual pleasure is something dirty or wrong. This is ridiculous because female sexuality is the foundation of all of humanity. It's literally essential for human life. AND our yonis are meant to be wet, soft, expansive, and orgasmic.
Yoni de-armoring is a tool to use to wake up the yoni to new forms of pleasure, help you connect more deeply to your body in the physical, energetic, and spiritual sense.
Steps for a Yoni De-Armoring/Self Pleasure Practice
1. Set the Space
Create a sacred space. Maybe light candles, turn on your salt lamps, smudge the space with palo santo, sage, or something else, play music. Do whatever you need to make the space sacred for you.
2. Slow Down
This is a sacred process. You are allowing your body to open up to receive deep healing and pleasure. We spend so much time rushing, even in sex. But our yonis need time to open, to soften, to start to flow.
3. Connect to Your Body
As you slow down and begin to move into this practice, start to connect to your body. Move your hands over your skin. Connect with your neck, heart, breasts, hips, butt, clitoris. You can even dance with yourself in the mirror. Gaze into your own eyes. Tell all the parts of you that you love them. Sometimes I take time to thank the parts of my body that I have had trouble accepting or loving.
4. When She's Ready, Enter Your Yoni
Enter your yoni in a conscious way ONLY when she's ready. You might start off with a finger or the narrow side of your yoni wand. When your yoni is ready for penetration she will open up. It's normal to need time to allow yourself to soften and open. When you're ready, you might choose to Press your finger or yoni wand in different places on the walls of your yoni.
Notice areas that are painful, tense, or numb. When you reach these places see if you can hold the pressure there for a moment and breathe. Some people suggesting holding these spots for a minute or two. I have experienced benefits and softening from five deep breaths. So just let your body intuitively guide you. Massage these tender spots with love. Notice how this feels, if there is an emotion or memory that comes up, greet it with love and acceptance. Can you sit with uncomfortable feelings that come up? Can you let your self accept them and let them go? Remember that your yoni will only show you what you are ready to see, what you are ready to let go of.
Truly express everything that comes to the surface. It's okay if you cry. It's okay if you scream. It's okay if you're crying on second and laughing the next. Moan, scream, laugh, cry, growl. Our pussies are deeply connected to our throats, so when we let the emotions rise and be expressed with our voice, it can be really helpful. You can also express what comes up through your body. You can dance, shake, do body rolls, hip circles, anything that feels good. Moving the emotions that come up through your body can help release them in a deeper way. Through these practices, the numb or tense spots will begin to naturally soften.
7. Orgasmic Expression & Pleasure
Though the goal of this practice is not necessarily pleasure or orgasm you may begin to feel awakened orgasmic energy. Honor this too! If there are particular parts of your yoni that feel newly awakened see if there is orgasmic energy in those places. Yoni de-armoring can help make us multi-orgasmic through the awakening of different places in our yonis. Whether your yoni de-armoring practice shifts into a self pleasure practice or you move into a self pleasure practice at a later time, allow yourself to just go wherever your pleasure takes you. Self pleasure can also create space for repressed emotions or stagnant energy to be released. If you usually self pleasure exclusively with clitoral touch, see what happens when you wake up the inside of your pussy. See if there are new orgasms that are rushing to the surface. Most importantly, have love for yourself no matter what you feel. You are beautiful.
8. After Care
After your yoni de-armoring (and/or self pleasure) practice, treat yourself with lots and lots of love and care. Let yourself rest. Maybe give yourself a little massage, do some yoga, have some tea. Anything that helps you feel more loved and grounded in your own energy.
You might want to write down or make a mental note on where you felt numbness or tension so you can check in with yourself in the future. In the coming weeks, notice if the inside of your yoni feels more orgasmic.